This week was especially a stressful week for me at work, and there have been several situations that I would consider microagression. For starters, in my building, there are five African American women, one caucasian woman, and four Caucasian men. On Tuesday four of the black females went to lunch to together and upon return, my immediate supervisor, who is a Caucasian male, came into my office and told me that we could not go to lunch as a group anymore. I was shocked to hear him say something like that and it made me angry. I thought to myself that he was trying to insinuate that when black people get together, we plot against people or it looks unprofessional. I really didn’t know the exact hidden message. It somewhat hurt my feelings, but I am certainly not weak enough to break!! I just hindered my good spirits at work because, you know, the Caucasians go to lunch together all the time and nothing is ever said. As being the target, I can witness to the fact that stereotypes still exists in society not just in my situation but within tons of communities around the world. Think about the Trayvon Martin case that’s happening in Florida as we speak. The effects of discrimination, prejudice, and stereotypes are tremendous. People will start rallying and petitioning for justice and I just think the world is going to be worse off rather than work together as a people for the benefits of society. It’s almost inevitable to say that racism still exists. I hate to even think of that term but it just seems that it’s exactly as stated. I treat people equally regardless of race or gender. It hurts my heart to know that some people disagree with actions as such.
Talisha, You have given us such a great example of the simple interactions and sentences that pack a punch! We do not realize how our words go in and penetrate into the spirit and soul of those they are spoken to . There are so many of these interactions going on all day long -- I see them at my center as well. Though I am in the Caucasian group. This is the first job that I have had where I have such close relationships with other teachers who are African-American. It has been eye-opening to me and I am constantly thinking about our friendships with each other and the stereotypes that we have in our heads. I am trying to be more observant to my own behaviors and words and open with these friends and teachers as we work together.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate hearing your perspective about those seemingly simple comments and how they made you feel.
Cindy
Talisha –
ReplyDeleteLet me start by saying I am so sorry. Although I am apart of the Caucasian group, it still gets so frustrated when comments like these are made. It is apparent from the interactions we have had together through our classes that you are a strong women and I hope that you confronted your supervisor. I think that a part of this class that I have noticed so much is the accountability of each person to their actions. It is my hope that one day everyone has the ability to step back and see how his or her words can be so hurtful.
Thank you,
Schlee ☺
Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you, that is horrible to hear. Did your boss ever explain to you why he asked you that?? I don't blame you for taking it personally, if others aren't being treated the same way... It is so disappointing, frustrating... to hear anything being said like that or having others being treated negatively. Thank you for sharing your story, but again I am sorry that even happened in the first place.
ReplyDeleteTalisha,
ReplyDeleteFirst, the feeling of concern that your supervisor made a statement in the manner of your colleagues and you not being able to enjoy you lunch together.
I am a woman of making waves, and I feel you should make a Tsunami! Personally and professionally, I would write out my I statements, and questions on why this statement was made. If it is because you are all strong and amazing teachers and the classes have a difficult time while you are all gone, then that is something to considered. However, it sounds like no explanation or reasoning behind his request.
To take the anger and resentment out of the picture is a hard task, but for clarity I would ask those important questions and share you I statements. You are an important part of that team, and managers must understand employees have feeling and deserve respect too. Good luck in the Tsunami… I wish you the best in your upcoming endeavors!
Talisha,
ReplyDeleteI feel hurt for you that you have to deal with such racism. Do you think that you can go to your boss and ask him the reason you can't go to lunch with your colleagues? I realize that there are hidden biases and have learned so much, but it is very sad when people are still such racists.
Talisha, I'm sorry to hear that you were hurt by your supervisor's demand. If I understand correctly, he did not offer any explanation for this directive. I wonder though what it was that he did say that leads you to believe that the issue is related to racism? Is it possible that there was another reason? Or, are there other behaviors/comments that he's made related to your race that this is a pattern?While I do not in any way want to diminish these acts of microaggression (and subsequent negative feelings), I am curious of the development of hyper-awareness with all of this new knowledge we have. I know I have certainly been significantly more aware these past week--suspecting everyone of hidden messages in all interactions! Is it possible to have a follow-up conversation with him? While obviously he will not "admit" that his demand is related to racism, he may be able to provide you with some insight to his thinking. I'm hopeful that you do not experience any additional negative feelings in your workplace! ~Shawn
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